Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Everything you need to know
I am a boy.
I am a girl.
I am shorter than 5’4.
I think I’m ugly sometimes.
I have many scars.
I tan easily
I wish my hair was a different color.
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
I have a tattoo.
I am self-conscious about my appearance.
I have/I’ve had braces.
I wear glasses. (I'm suppose to, but I don't)
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger.
I have more than 2 piercings.
I have piercing in places besides my ears.
I have freckles.
I’ve sworn at my parents.
I’ve run away from home.
I’ve been kicked out of the house.
I have a sibling less than one year old.
I want to have kids someday.
I’ve lost a child.
I have a job.
I’ve fallen asleep at work/school.
I almost always do/did my homework.
I’ve missed a week or more of school.
I’ve been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years.
I failed more than 1 class last year.
I’ve stolen something from my job.
I’ve slipped out an “lol” in a spoken conversation.
Disney movies still make me cry.
I’ve peed from laughing.
I’ve snorted while laughing.
I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried.
I’ve glued my hand to something.
I’ve had my pants rip in public
I was born with a disease/impairment.
I’ve gotten stitches/staples.
I’ve broken a bone.
I’ve had my tonsils removed.
I’ve sat in a doctor’s office/emergency room with a friend.
I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed.
I had a serious surgery.
I’ve had chicken pox.
I’ve had measles
I’ve driven over 200 miles in one day
I’ve been to Canada.
I’ve been to Mexico
I’ve been to Niagara Falls.
I’ve celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
I’ve been to Europe.
I’ve been to Africa.
I’ve gotten lost in my city.
I’ve seen a shooting star.
I’ve wished on a shooting star
I’ve seen a meteor shower.
I’ve gone out in public in my pajamas.
I’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
I’ve kicked a guy where it hurts.
I’ve been to a casino.
I’ve been skydiving.
I’ve gone skinny dipping.
I’ve played spin the bottle.
I’ve drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
I’ve crashed a car.
I’ve been skiing.
I’ve been in a play.
I’ve met someone in person from Myspace.
I’ve caught a snowflake on my tongue.
I’ve seen the Northern lights.
I’ve sat on a roof top at night.
I’ve played chicken.
I’ve played a prank on someone
I’ve seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
I’ve eaten sushi.
I’ve been snowboarding.
I’m single.
I don’t know what my relationship status is.
I’m in a relationship.
I’m engaged.
I’m married.
I’ve gone on a blind date.
I’ve been the dumped more than the dumper.
I miss someone right now.
I have a fear of abandonment.
I’ve gotten divorced.
I’ve had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back.
I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
I’ve kept something from a past relationship.
I’ve had a crush on a teacher.
I am a cuddler.
I’ve been kissed in the rain.
I’ve hugged a stranger.
I have kissed a stranger.
I’ve done something I promised someone else I wouldn’t.
I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t.
I’ve sneaked out of my house.I have lied to my parents about where I am.
I am keeping a secret from the world.
I’ve cheated while playing a game.
I’ve cheated on a test.
I’ve run a red light.
I’ve been suspended from school.
I’ve witnessed a crime.
I’ve been in a fist fight.
I’ve been arrested.
I’ve consumed alcohol.
I regularly drink.
I’ve passed out from drinking.
I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
I’ve smoked weed
I’ve taken painkillers when I didn’t need them.
I’ve eaten shrooms.
I’ve popped E.
I’ve inhaled Nitrous.
I’ve done hard drugs.
I have cough drops when I’m not sick.
I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem.
I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.
I have been diagnosed with one or more anxiety disorder.
I shut others out when I’m depressed.
I take anti-depressants.
I have been anorexic or bulimic.
I’ve slept an entire day when I didn’t need it.
I’ve hurt myself on purpose.
I’ve woken up crying.
I’m afraid of dying.
I hate funerals.
I’ve seen someone dying.
Someone close to me has committed suicide.
I’ve planned my own suicide.
I’ve attempted suicide.
I’ve written a eulogy for myself.
I own over 5 rap CDs.
I own an iPod or MP3 player.
I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
I own something from Pac Sun.
I collect comic books.
I own something from Abercrombie.
I can sing well.
I’ve stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
I open up to others easily.
I watch the news.
I don’t kill bugs.
I curse regularly.
I sing in the shower.
I am a morning person.
I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
I’m a snob about grammar.
I am a sports fanatic.
I twirl my hair.
I have “x”s in my screen name.
I love being neat.
I love Spam.
I’ve copied more than 30 CD’s in a day
I bake well.
My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue
I like Martha Stewart.
I know how to shoot a gun.
I am in love with love. .
I laugh at my own jokes.
I eat fast food weekly.
I believe in ghosts.
I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
I’ve not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
I can’t sleep if there is a spider in the room.
I am really ticklish.
I love white chocolate
I bite my nails.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Let go of the past...
I've waited too long to write this, and it's been eating me up inside.
But, before I start, let me explain this blog.
I never wanted to have hundred of subscribers, because if I did I feel like I would start editing my life, and that would be the last thing I wanted to do. I want this blog to almost be like a diary, but at the same time I know that someone IS reading this, so instead of just drowning in my emotions and not getting anything solved, I would be forced to explain it in a rational sense. This blog is also for me to be able to not only write about my highs and my lows, but my norms. But, being the type of person that I am, I can't talk about my everyday if something big is still looming behind me. So here I go...
My grandmother passed away. I know this sounds like nothing, because if you were to lose anyone, the one that has lived a long happy life would be the easiest to let go of. But the thing is, she wasn't living a happy life. My grandmother had dementia, this means that her brain was more or less slowly eating itself. When you have dementia it's effects your memory, and your sense of reasoning. My grandmother was diagnosed when I was 8, so I had only begun to really know her.
My grandmother had lived with my family since I was born, so I didn't know a life without her. I remember she had an apartment downstairs, and she was my best friend. If anything was wrong, I ran to her. But, the disease slowly ate away at her. She couldn't remember where she parked the car, where she left her keys, if she shut the oven off. And after she was diagnosed, she moved upstairs. With her health worsening she would mix up who we were. I was my sister, my sister was me, the dog was the cat. But she began to see things that weren't there. She loved to read, so she began to think that what she was reading was true. She could no longer take a shower by herself. Get ready by herself. Eat by herself. So about 3 years ago, my mother decided to put her in a home. It was one of the hardest things she had done.
She got worse and worse and worse. I couldn't remember the grandmother I had, only the empty stare I was looking at. I stopped visiting her so much. She stopped being my grandmother, more of a chore, an outlook I beat myself up for now. I can't even imagine how she felt. Not knowing where you are, who's around you, who you are.
When she died she couldn't walk. She couldn't speak. She couldn't eat. She had a cyst on her side that just exploded. I remember looking at her, being next to her, just holding her hand, and not knowing what to think. There was the woman who brought me to the park, held me when I got scared, kissed my boo boos. She's dying in my arms and I can't even grow enough balls to say goodbye?
I wasn't able to say goodbye to her, and she wasn't able to say goodbye to me. She died the day after I saw her, and she didn't remember who I was, but even if she did she couldn't say it. I understand she's in a better place now, but getting over this mountain of her death is tough.
But, before I start, let me explain this blog.
I never wanted to have hundred of subscribers, because if I did I feel like I would start editing my life, and that would be the last thing I wanted to do. I want this blog to almost be like a diary, but at the same time I know that someone IS reading this, so instead of just drowning in my emotions and not getting anything solved, I would be forced to explain it in a rational sense. This blog is also for me to be able to not only write about my highs and my lows, but my norms. But, being the type of person that I am, I can't talk about my everyday if something big is still looming behind me. So here I go...
My grandmother passed away. I know this sounds like nothing, because if you were to lose anyone, the one that has lived a long happy life would be the easiest to let go of. But the thing is, she wasn't living a happy life. My grandmother had dementia, this means that her brain was more or less slowly eating itself. When you have dementia it's effects your memory, and your sense of reasoning. My grandmother was diagnosed when I was 8, so I had only begun to really know her.
My grandmother had lived with my family since I was born, so I didn't know a life without her. I remember she had an apartment downstairs, and she was my best friend. If anything was wrong, I ran to her. But, the disease slowly ate away at her. She couldn't remember where she parked the car, where she left her keys, if she shut the oven off. And after she was diagnosed, she moved upstairs. With her health worsening she would mix up who we were. I was my sister, my sister was me, the dog was the cat. But she began to see things that weren't there. She loved to read, so she began to think that what she was reading was true. She could no longer take a shower by herself. Get ready by herself. Eat by herself. So about 3 years ago, my mother decided to put her in a home. It was one of the hardest things she had done.
She got worse and worse and worse. I couldn't remember the grandmother I had, only the empty stare I was looking at. I stopped visiting her so much. She stopped being my grandmother, more of a chore, an outlook I beat myself up for now. I can't even imagine how she felt. Not knowing where you are, who's around you, who you are.
When she died she couldn't walk. She couldn't speak. She couldn't eat. She had a cyst on her side that just exploded. I remember looking at her, being next to her, just holding her hand, and not knowing what to think. There was the woman who brought me to the park, held me when I got scared, kissed my boo boos. She's dying in my arms and I can't even grow enough balls to say goodbye?
I wasn't able to say goodbye to her, and she wasn't able to say goodbye to me. She died the day after I saw her, and she didn't remember who I was, but even if she did she couldn't say it. I understand she's in a better place now, but getting over this mountain of her death is tough.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
WHO STOLE MY HAIR?!?!?
Oh right, I cut it off :). I actually donated it to be made into a wig for a child fighting cancer. This hit pretty close to home considering my father is fighting cancer. I donated 10 inches, but with the styling and the layer, and cutting off the dead ends I ended up cutting off 14 inches.
On a different note something very serious has just happened, but I don't want to right about it quite yet. The wound is still too fresh. But, I'll write soon!
Saturday, August 28, 2010
I'M BACK!
what has happened in these past two months? Nothing and everything. I haven't had a real chance to see any of my friends because of my infinitely busy schedule. I had dance for hours upon hours every week (I think I was somewhere near 12 hours a day...) in the little sweatshop called the dance studio. I also had to take Driver's Education classes. That's right, I'm on the road.
Yesterday I was able to drive to the High School and get my laptop (and my school books, can't forget those). This is just reminding me that school is just that much closer. Well, here's to hoping the school year of 2010-2011 is better than last.
xoxo.
Yesterday I was able to drive to the High School and get my laptop (and my school books, can't forget those). This is just reminding me that school is just that much closer. Well, here's to hoping the school year of 2010-2011 is better than last.
xoxo.
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